I have
been closely following a set of events, my own life and many other issues.
These issues may or may not be relevant to me. But following something closely
gives me, a deeper sense of understanding, I firmly believe. At the same time,
I also speculate whether one’s understanding of things around are fair or are
they biased as a function of other factors in one’s life. I know I am
contradicting myself. I do not have a clear mind at times. I have tried to
describe the whole process of trying to understand ‘what trust is, and what it
means’ in the following few paragraphs. While describing the process, I have
tried my best to follow a close outline. This in turn, has helped me to filter
my thoughts and classify my feelings in a better fashion. I hope, at the end of
it, things are more clear to me. Well, that has always been the intention of me
jotting down something. Self realization.
Childhood and growth:
We all are deeply influenced by our parents,
guardians, and elder people closely related to us. Well, the time of influence
(not the span) is the childhood. We all are still in a state where we can be
molded. The message conveyed by the family to the child, again, depends on the
background and values of the family in general. Some families may try to
inculcate a ‘good values’ system in the kid. The definition of ‘good values’
itself is subjective. What you consider to be good values, need not be approved
by me. Hence, the essential difference comes in the childhood itself.
Anyway, I stick to one case, and one case alone. I
was taught by my parents and people who influenced me that trust is very
important in life. Since I was told by people who were my mentors, I blindly believed
it. Ah yes! My father, mother and teachers tell me, trust is an important thing
in life. Then it must be true. I need to trust everyone and in turn everyone
will trust me. Life is so good. Peace.
Is life so simple?
Maybe.
I grew. I was a teenager. It was time I get
influenced by others and other factors. Still, life was good. I was having fun,
and loads of it. I never looked beyond a certain dimension. I was innocent.
Trust me (Ironical… isn’t it?), innocence is good. Television, Sports(in my
case Football), movies, papers, magazines, friends, and family, all play an
important role in one’s development during this stage. I was liking it.
Then sometime in my early teenage - Shock. I don’t
remember what it was all about. But I did feel it once. That was my first
meeting with distrust. I was taken aback. I mean, here I was, with a value
system, which tells me that every being on this planet is perfect, and
everything happens for the good. I still couldn’t question my value system.
Very well, I thought, maybe it was something to be ignored. I went on.
It is funny but I have to mention this now. I was
extremely addicted to WWF then. I used to follow every fight and sequence of
events that were designed to entertain the viewers and keep them glued till the
next session. I remember very vividly, Stone Cold Steve Austin coming on
to the ring, creating havoc. More importantly, I remember his punch line: ‘’Never
trust anyone’’. I am not sure whether he follows it himself in his off
screen life. But it did affect me a lot. I used to go around screaming my guts
out. A few people told me that I had gone insane. But most of my friends liked
it. And we still had a great trust in one another, which was essentially a
result of that screaming. Funny, but true.
As I grew, I realized life wasn’t that easy. I
started seeing wrong things happen. It never really disturbed me. But it
definitely made me start thinking. Since then, I have been meeting Mr. Distrust
quite often. I thought more. Innocence was no more. More thinking.
Ignorance is
a bliss, I have met Mr. Distrust again & no I am not at all hurt I am too
much preoccupied with my prior commitments to now worry about people breaking
my trust but the lesson I have learnt today is never trust anyone completely, yes
I made that mistake & I am not going to repeat my mistake again, for some
people honesty has no meaning & they like only manipulators but whatever
their need be I believe in myself & my belief, cause this attitude of mine
has earned me some of my lifetime friends.....
Learnings:
Life became ugly. But, thinking
gave a deeper understanding of things around.
I learnt that an individual has a
choice all the time: the choice of doing the wrong thing.
Well, once again, the definition
of wrong thing itself is subjective. This degree of freedom is available with
every person, and the sanctity of trust lies at the core of this choice. There
are people who choose to exercise this freedom, and there are others who do
not. Which sect will one appreciate? This choice lies with you. And your choice
defines the sect you belong to.
I think now. Has life really
become ugly? Maybe not.
However greatly I
distrust the sincerity of those we converse with, yet still I think they tell
more truth to me than to anyone else.
Implications:
You can either be happy being
naïve, or choose to know that there are other things which will disturb you,
but be happy at the same time that you have a better understanding of things.
''To learn something, one has to sacrifice the state of not knowing the same.
